Eldest Daughter Syndrome: a letter to my parents

take a peak through the masks - was it worth it? to sacrifice peace

Dear Earth Parents,

I see you. Two souls here to evolve and experience each other. Both your shadows and light body attracted each other. Here on planet, to experience and be experienced.

I am sitting here reconnecting with my younger self. Thanking mySelf for these reflections, who are my Earth Parents. I now allow myself to be given what my yearned for as a child, which was authentic self expression, acceptance, wider perspective and unconditional love. So my acceptance came from accepting your inner child. This is for you, young one.

There is nothing for you to prove. The outside world isn’t a reliable measuring stick for your worth. This inner value in you is as inherent in you as it is to the stars in the vast night sky.

I now understand that what you could share with me. What you taught me. What you believed in. Was a projection of your own worldview, fears and expectation. It resonated with the level of consciousness you have at the time you interact with me.

I used to wish you were different. I used to wish you believed in yourself. I wish you wouldn’t shun the authentic parts of yourself like you did with me. But I was asking so much, to much for that evolutionary stage of self. These were lessons that weren’t integrated within your psyche yet. Now I know that’s okay.

It’s okay to fear, just don’t let it keep you stuck. It’s okay to worry, yet realize it shifts NOTHING. It’s okay to judge, but the measuring stick must be unconditional love- then you realize there is nothing to judge.

It’s okay to doubt, but you overshadow the power of your existence. It’s okay to run away from your emotions into food, into avoidance into church, into relationships, into validation - yet there is more understanding in staying with yourself.

It’s okay not to know everything, that is why you’re here.. to explore.

I used to want you to give me permission to explore, forgive, love, ask, be curious, love, laugh and grow inwardly not only externally. Yet with the wisdom, I’ve picked up along this earth journey, I realize that is for ME to do.

So I release you. I love you.

I release you both from requiring the pick up the tools for self growth and soul exploration. I give myself permission to accept myself fully. I set you free, even when that’s always been your state of being.

XO Love your Daughter..

who is no longer trying to prove her worth.